Talking an exam seems to bring out the best in people. Furrowed brows, lawyer-like semantic analysis of simple questions, neighbors helping each-oth... Wait a minute, I SAW THAT, YOU TWO! EYES ON YOUR OWN PAPERS!
They think they can get away with murder. Honestly.
First up: Baked Alaska.
Substituted naphthalene snowman!
I like this illustration. And naphthalene snowman is a lot easier to write than the formal name, which would be something like 3,8-dimethoxy-2,9-dimethyl-1a,2,9,9a-tetrahydro-2,3-dioxabicyclo[2.2.2]anthra[2,3-b]oxirene. This person would have had to spend, like, a whole hour on writing that. And then I'd have to read it over and over again, trying to figure out if he actually got it right, or if he was just trying to fool me.
And if there was a synthesis proposed for this, I could overlook a lot of mistakes.
Second, we've got some Spanish Mole with Fried Avogadros.
Mooooooooole. Mooooole. Moooooooooole.
I don't know why, but I like the little emoticons people draw. I like tho think that putting that little smidgen of extra effort into drawing the happy face signals that, even if I'm the blackhearted emotionless TA they think I am, at least they enjoyed the joke. And isn't that worth something? Can't they get partial credit for that?
Not after implying I'm a blackhearted robot, nosiree.
Thirdly, Man's Best Friend.
Awwww, look at the doggie! It likes chemistry! And it talks in thought bubbles! This is adorable enough that I'll overlook the fact that dogs, lacking opposable thumbs, would bring death and horror into a laboratory. Five pointsey wointsies for the puppy wuppy!
Who's a good dog? Who's a good dog! You are!
And now for the textual jokes. Haha, get it? Textual? Rhymes with sexual?
Fine. No points for me, either.
What did the redneck chemist say when he picked up his girlfriend?
what you 'aldoled' up for?
Bonus points for originality on that one. Although, I can see that not going so well once he says it.
"Are you calling me an unsaturated ketone, implying that I'm highly reactive?"
"No, baby, no! I'm saying you've got some soft reactive orbitals!"
"Oh, so now I'm fat, am I?!"
It goes downhill from there.
Two chemistry students were playing a game called "marco, pollo." Instead of getting closer toether they were getting farther away b/c they were yelling out "ortho, para." Get it?
Haha!
Yes, I get it. Don't patronize me!
Seriously, though. Not bad. This joke required chemistry knowledge to both understand and to write. Five points for the content, minus two points for not indicating you like your own joke with a smilie face.
Two chemistry student fish are in a tank. After a long exam, one fish finally says to the other, "so... how are we gonna drive this thing?"
This joke is just clumsily slapped together. It's clearly just a regular joke into which chemistry has been inserted. Listen, man, you can't just take two awesome things and throw them together and expect the result to be awesome. I mean, bacon is great, and so is chocolate, but...
You know what, never mind. Full credit.
Previously, on Final Joke...
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