War on Liquids - The Front Line

I'm at the airport right now, fresh through Security.

In the line, there was a very sincere TSA agent explaining to a young woman that she would have to take her liquids, gels, creams, and lotions and check them as baggage.

Why was she having to do this, you ask?

Her clear plastic bag contained no containers of terror fluids over the size divined by the TSA, and the number of items she had was clearly under the arbitrary limits on numbers of items.

But no, she couldn't go through. She had committed a cardinal sin. Her clear platic bag was not a quart sized one. She had the gall, the audacity, the nerve to pack her liquid items in a gallon bag.

She left the line to return to the counter very frustrated indeed. The only thing that kept me from exploding in rage about the sheer insanity of declaring an entire state of matter potentially dangerous was my complete lack of energy (4 AM, people) and the threat of overwhelming force.

In lighter news, the agents operating the X-ray were unable to tell magnets and ball bearings from jellybeans.

I just hope none of my christmas presents will be stolen or crushed. Here's to hope.

Ha ha ha

Another semester come and gone. Come and gone. Mostly gone.

The highlight of the year has got to be when I can stop teaching and finally get to work in the lab. Ususally, the low point of the year is grading the organic chemistry final exams. There are hundreds of them, all of them manhandled by disease vectors with little knowledge of chemistry. This year, however, the professor I taught for had an awesome bonus question that made the grading a lot more fun. The question was "write or draw something funny and chemistry related." The criteria were that is we laughed, they'd get five extra points.

So now I have a collection of what my students think is funny recorded by my digital camera for all of posterity.

This also means that I can pop a few of these up if I haven't made an entry in a while, keeping you, my dear reader, entertained.

Without further ado...

Comic 1: Where are we, again?

I like the cartoons the best. In case you can't see the captions...

Shimizu (professor): Blah blah blah.
Christine (thinking): La la la
Student (thinking): La la la
Amber (thinking): La la la
Caption: Us Studying
Christine: Ether who?
Student: H-A addition to a double bond. What's A? Can we write A on the test?
Amber: When did we do that?!?!

Funny? Eh. However, they say that art imitates life, and this is what makes this comic a work of genius. You can tell that this actually happened, and that this student, whilst not feeling regret, can self-parody in the hopes that some points can come of slack-ass class participation.

Comic 2: Pimp-izu.

You've got to admire the student who draws their professor as a man whose main occupation is selling women. Students take heed: while I (and everyone else in the room when I came across this) laughed heartily at this image, pimps are no lauging matter. Seriously.

Comic 3: Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow

This is one of the highest quality images, as far as art is concerned. Bold, sweeping lines! Realistic proportions! Sex appeal!

However, the relation to chemistry is only superficial.

There were also stunning examples of pun and prose. For effect, I've left in all the strange phrasing, smilie faces, and side comments.

This first joke is in what I'd call the "desperation" category. It's not a joke, but it's funny in a different way. They don't realize that while we grade, we are soulless student-destroying machines.

Q: Who is the best chemistry professor alive?
A: One who would still give me five points for NOT making him laugh. :-)

Here's one from an overstressed overachiever.

Y'all, this is a true story. I had an awful dream that I drove to Georgia (and my home town) yesterday - and I didn't remember about this final until the next morning (today)... When I woke up at 6 AM. So I basically freaked out and then I woke up from the dream. I can honestly say that was my worst nightmare. This is funny because it is TRUE! ORGANIC CHEMISTRY LITERALLY GIVES ME NIGHTMARES!! AHH!

And then the last one from this installation, an on-the-spot chemistry pun.

- What do you get when you mix your mother's sister with a stop watch?
- An Aunt Timer! (enantiomer)
har har...

Until next time, blogosphere.

What am I supposed to believe?

I love how urgent these labels are. Stench! Irritant!

This one, though, is steering me in the wrong directions. Flammable solid? Harmful liquid?

Make up your mind.

One thing's for sure - it really does stink. Even taking the bottle out of the hood is unbearable. 

Whoops

As a commenter pointed out in the last post, I foolishly did some simple math wrong.

100 grams at $420 per gram is $42,000 dollars, a bit larger than the price I quoted before.

That bottle is worth around $42,000 dollars. That's over what I make in two years.